Promoting Healthy Relationships Helps Prevent Teen Dating Violence

Teens have a lot going on in their lives, and, as caregivers, thinking about our teen's dating can sometimes be overwhelming. After all, aren’t they still too young?

With teen dating comes the reality of teen dating violence (TDV). The Center for Disease Control and Prevention defines TDV as “[..] the physical, sexual, psychological, or emotional violence within a relationship, including stalking.” Today, TDV also occurs electronically. TDV is a serious problem among our girls and boys, but many families operate under the belief that it won’t happen to them. However, decades of research conducted by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, American Medical Association, World Health Organization, and other qualified organizations indicate that approximately 1.5 million teens experience TDV per year with many of them starting to experience violence as early as 11-15 years-old.

Unfortunately, teens often don’t tell adults when they are experiencing violence. There are a variety of reasons for this, including the fact that many of them can’t correctly identify the warning signs of an abusive relationship. Abusive behaviors become “normalized” for teens experiencing TDV making them less likely to question their partner’s bad behavior.

To keep our teens safe and healthy it’s important that caregivers not only be able to recognize the signs of abuse, but that they also make it a priority to teach children from an early age exactly what a healthy relationship looks like. Doing so helps children understand the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships, providing them with the tools they’ll need to help keep themselves safe.

One of the strongest strategies for preventing TDV is to promote healthy relationships. Here are 4 easy ways to teach your child about healthy relationships:

1. Lead by example. The easiest way to promote healthy relationships in your home is to show your children what a healthy relationship looks like. You can do this by simply engaging your children in conversations about the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. If you are in an abusive relationship, consider seeking help. If you are in a healthy relationship, allow your child to see what positive communication, healthy conflict and affection look like.
2. Use the media. Our media is filled with all kinds of examples of healthy and unhealthy relationships making it a great conversation starter. Ask your child questions, such as, “Do you feel comfortable seeing that? Why not?”
3. Be respectful. Many children understand what the word respect means in the abstract, but they might not understand it in practice. Instead of telling them how important respect is, show them what respectful behavior looks like by engaging respectfully with family, friends, and acquaintances. Identifying and practicing respect teaches our children that it’s just as important to expect respect in our relationships as give it.
4. Talk about consent. Many teens equate sex to love and feel pressured to have sex for the benefit of their relationship. Make sure your teen understands that they have the right to say no!

Guest Blogger: Chelsea Grieve

Chelsea Grieve is a Program Specialist at Child Crisis Arizona where she provides support to our shelter, family education and counseling programs. She also teaches parenting education classes, runs skill building groups for children and teens, and is a certified trainer for nonviolent crisis intervention, conscious discipline and active parenting. Chelsea is a committed advocate for child welfare and has been active in the movement to end violence against children since 2006.